Luke - part 3

So there we were, myself and Luke in Queens Court having a most splendid time. A little bit of chat and lots of kissing took place with the odd nibble on the ear thrown in for good measure. I could not believe that this absolutely stunning guy was interested in me. Any doubts I had about his intentions were forgotten with each kiss from him. I was the hummingbird..he was the nectar.
We decided to go for a dance and as we walked towards the dance floor, Luke held my hand. I was literally being swept off my feet by him.
Steps were very popular at that time and whenever one of their songs came on, the dance floor would suddenly be chock a block.
It was a a bit of squeeze but it didn't matter. We spent most of the duration of the songs with our arms round each other, partaking in even more kissing. Try and imagine an attempt at the world record for most amount of kissing in one night..Luke and I were smashing it!

Queens Court was about to close for the night so now was the time to decide what we would do next. I asked if he would like to stay at mine? He was more than happy to accept my invite. I was even happier!
When we reached my place , I realised all I had in to drink was a small bottle of Smirnoff Ice. We decided to share it but I felt like a rubbish host. After that night, I made sure I at least had a bottle of wine in my fridge, just in case.
After a bit of chatting, cuddling and even more kissing, it was time for bed and it is here that I made what was probably the worst decision I have ever made. I actually looked Luke in the face and said that nothing would happen tonight because I had work the next day. He was fine with this and at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing.
We made our way to the bedroom and stripped to our underwear. He had a beautiful body and knowing that I would soon be lying beside him made me so happy. The temptation to take things further was agonising but I settled for more kisses and cuddles. Eventually we both drifted off to sleep.

The following morning I awoke feeling happier than I had felt in a long time. Luke woke up a few minutes later. It felt a little strange someone else being in my bed. After all, this was the first guy I had ever invited back to mine.

At work that day I told a few people of my brilliant night. They were very happy for me, especially as they knew how much I liked Luke.
I bumped into Rob and after apologising for kind of dumping him at the QC, I told him what happened after he had gone home. He was mortified that we didn't have sex and said I should have phoned in sick.
On reflection, his idea did make sense.  I had longed to be with a guy for ages and definitely had the chance with Luke but put work first. The word idiot was well suited for me at that moment.

I was working an evening shift at Blockbuster after work and had arranged for Luke to meet me there. He was staying at mine again and this time sex was on the agenda and work could go to Hell.
I was so eager to get home as quickly as possible, I asked my mate Danny (who was also working) if he could give us a lift home. He was happy to oblige.

After a little supper, I put on my fake yawn and said I was ready to go to bed. Once again we stripped to our underwear and within minutes were in bed.
I faced Luke and said to him "I really like you Luke so where do we go from here"?
His reply was " I like you too..as a friend".
Those few words caused such devastation inside me but I knew I couldn't show it, so my response was "If I had known that was what you were going to say, we would have had sex last night".
I really didn't have much else to say after that apart from "Goodnight".
That night I didn't sleep very well. If he wasn't interested, why on earth was he asleep in my bed with me at his side? I just didn't understand.

We met a few more times after that night and he even slept at mine a couple more occasions. I suppose I was hoping he would eventually see me as more than a friend. It wasn't to be though.

The last time I spoke to Luke, he had recently married and also had a couple of children. I didn't bother asking him if he was bi or was now totally straight.

It's been quite a few years since I saw Luke but I can't help but smile at the thought of him. He totally had me smitten.
Of all the guys I have seen since him, none has ever kissed as good as he did and that first night we slept together is the best nights sleep I have ever had.
Was he playing me for a fool. Was it me. Was he unsure of his sexuality or did he really like me but just chickened out? Unless I ever bump into him again to ask him these questions, I will never know.

Until next time, I bid thee farewell.

Luke - part 2

A little later than anticipated due to Christmas and my Christmas stocking selection but here it is folks, my final blog for 2011.

I could not get Luke out of my head and longed for another night out, hoping that he would be there too.
He had come into Blockbuster a few times since that night and we had chatted but it was hardly the place to tell him how much I liked him. 
I got the vibe that he liked me but just didn't have the nerve to act on it.
This went on during several visits to Queens Court and whilst I was happy to be  in his company, I would go home cursing myself for not taking things further. On the odd night that he didn't show, I would go home in such a foul mood. It couldn't continue this way. I had to find out what he thought of me.

Rob worked at Wallace Arnold and was also gay. We had chatted on many occasions about Luke and how I felt about him but was too scared to do anything about it. It was decided that he would join me on a night out so he could meet Luke and find out for me.

The big night arrived and there I was at Queens Court waiting patiently. An hour or so passed and neither one of them had turned up. There was the possibility that Luke wouldn't as I hadn't seen him at Blockbuster to let him know I would be there.
Eventually Rob arrived and by this time I had made my way upstairs. We had a few drinks and it was whilst I was at the bar buying another round that I noticed Luke walking past. I felt giddy inside and couldn't wait to tell Rob he had arrived. It was whilst telling him that I began to feel really nervous. This night could be the night I find out how he felt about me. What if my vibes were totally screwed up and all he wanted was friendship? I decided that if that was what he wanted, then so be it. At least I would know.

Luke was on the dance floor when I eventually met up with him. We said our hello's and had a little boogie and then I told him that my friend would like to meet him. He said ok and we made our way to him.
"Rob.this is Luke. The guy I 've been talking so much about" I said.
Rob said hi and Luke said hi back and then looked at me. I looked back and then that was it. What happened next just seemed so natural. We just started to kiss. I was literally stood next to Rob, snogging the guy I had spent weeks trying to decipher if he liked me or not.  Obviously he did and those weeks were indeed wasted weeks.
We stopped for a second, looked into each others eyes and then started again. My entire body tingled with pure pleasure with each brush of his lips against mine.
We stopped again and I turned to Rob with the biggest grin ever. Luke excused himself saying he needed to let his friends know that he wouldn't be re-joining them
"What just happened"? I said to Rob.
He confirmed that it was obvious he liked me and that I should go with the flow.
We both agreed that the way it happened was very romantic, just like a scene from a 1940's romantic movie.

When Luke returned, it was Rob's turn to excuse himself. He had already told me he was going to do this and would call it a night so we said our goodbyes.
Luke and I made our way to some seats and started to kiss again. In between kisses we chatted. I told him how I had wanted to do this for weeks but was too nervous. He had been the same with me.
It didn't matter that we had wasted all that time. What mattered was that we both now knew how each felt about the other and we were at last acting on it.

Tune in next week to see what happened next in the final instalment of this confession.

Until then, I bid thee farewell and wish you all a Happy New Year..see you in 2012!