Guilty Pleasures

As part of my confessions I will present to you a occasional 'Guilty Pleasure', an unlikely Adonis I find myself attracted to for some truly bizarre reason.

Today I must confess my unholy desires for...

Johnny Robinson

Yes, I know...please don't judge me. I know he's not much to look at but there is just something about Johnny. His personality seems to dazzle me. You just know deep down he's got a heart of gold. He would make you a nice cup of tea on a morning, sing you a little song and have your crumpet buttered just the right amount...believe me, I'm fussy when it comes to crumpet!!!

BUT, he looks like an extra from a bad zombie movie! He dresses and looks like a chav who has just robbed the local Primark. That is, until he speaks and you hear those lady like tones. Look at him! Just give him a black robe and a scythe and you'd think he'd come to take you to meet your maker!






















"HEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!"

But, despite all this, his personality shines through, like a beautiful sunset from a classic Disney movie.


SO, here's the science bit;

As you can see from this pie chart, personality counter balances any flaws. Believe me I always go for hotties, usually way out of my league and definitely younger than me! But somehow Johnny has managed to light a spark. So if you're reading this Johnny...well, the balls in your court!!!

Larry

I have a friend who thought it would be an awfully good idea to put an ad in the paper to try and find me a potential boyfriend/lover.
At first I was very dubious about allowing this but since I'd been a little down, due mainly to the fact that i was single, I agreed she could do it.
The way it worked was that an advert was placed in the paper saying the usual things...young looking stud looking for love and so on.
You were then given a mailbox number and anyone interested could phone this number and listen to a little message from the person who had placed the ad..in this instance me!
The message part I did not find out until after the ad was placed but according to my friend, her boyfriend did a very good impression of me. Having met her boyfriend, I find this hard to believe.
If the person listening to the message liked what they heard, then they could send you a text to the mailbox which was then forwarded on to your mobile number.
My friend confirmed the date the ad would be in the paper and I have to admit, I was rather excited but at the same time, very  very nervous.

The big day arrived and hey presto, I received a text, then another ...then another  and another until eventually, I had received at least 100 or so text messages.
I was then left with the task of reading all these messages and deciding which ones to maybe reply to.
Any that I deemed unsuitable like "hey sexy, 9" just waiting for you" or "do you wanna come sit on my face" I instantly deleted.
This whittled it down to roughly 50 or so. I then went through the messages again to check ages.
Now it is a well known fact, to anyone who knows me, that I do not do older. The only exception is if they look younger and I mean a lot younger. I'm talking aged 50 but looks 30.
After deleting all the messages from guys older than me, I was left with about 10. These 10 I replied to.
I think my message to them consisted of me saying thanks for the message and maybe asking them what they did for a living..proper sexy talk!!!
The 10 replied and I was left with the decision of who hadn't made the cut after their second message. This was becoming a a rather difficult task so I based it on who replied the quickest.
I now had my top 5 which I thought was a suitable amount for me to manage.
More messages were sent and received and I realised that some of them were not what I was looking for.

Eventually I was left with just 2 guys. It was like an X Factor audition and this was the X Factor final.

Who would eventually win? Tune in tomorrow to find out!!