Naveen had told me previously that he lodged at a friends house and that he had broken up with his boyfriend weeks ago. He had gone on to say that the reason the relationship broke down was because his ex had been too possessive, to the point where it scared him.
I didn't really give it a second thought except to say how awful it must have been for him.
The day after we had had the most perfect time, I was on Gaydar and Naveen sent a private chat request to which I quickly responded.
"David I had a lovely time yesterday and can't wait to be with you again" or "I really like you David". were what I was hoping to read. Is that what I read? Of course it wasn't. The first thing that came up was "I don't know what to do. I am so scared".
I asked Naveen what was wrong. It transpired that his ex had followed him to his friends house, somehow managed to gain entry and was now in the living room demanding to see him. Naveen was in his bedroom.
The first thing I said was that he should call the Police and tell them he was causing a disturbance. He didn't want to do this.
I asked why but he didn't really respond. I then asked how he had managed to gain entry? Naveen replied he had been banging on the door, shouting and cursing as he did." Even more reason to call the Police" I replied.
He then went on to say that he was really frightened, that this was not the first time it had happened and that he did not want to live there anymore and that I was a really nice guy.
The penny dropped! He was after me saying he could move into my place. These words were not going to be said. After all, I had only known him for a few days.
Instead I advised him to calm down, phone the Police and inform them of what had happened and that he was frightened to leave his room.
We chatted a little more and then said our goodbyes. Part of me wanted to phone the Police myself but part of me was very suspicious and wondered if his ex was actually there at all? Part of me even thought he might be in the UK illegally. Was it bad of me to think this way? The days that followed confirmed that my latter thought could be true.
I had finished the conversation the previous night on Gaydar by asking Naveen to let me know he was ok the next day. The next day arrived and I heard nothing. The day after, nothing again. I sent a couple of text messages, tried calling and went online to see if he was on there. It was like he had vacated the planet and I was becoming a little worried. Maybe his ex had been there and something had happened.
After a few minutes, I could see he had logged on, so I sent the usual private chat request. He accepted and I asked if he was ok? He was and asked if I had had a good day?
I wanted to know what had happened but he said he did not want to talk about it.
"But why not"? I asked him. He said he didn't want to and tried to change the conversation by asking how Will and Grace were.
I was very troubled by his reaction and once again found myself wondering if the ex was just a lie?
Once again I asked if he was ok but this time he just replied with another random question about my day.
I couldn't help myself and asked him why he was being selective in his answers about the previous nights scare. He said he just wanted to forget about it.
My instincts were working overtime. Something was not right but I held my tongue and replied with "You're ok. That's the main thing".
The conversation appeared a little strained after that so I decided to call it a night and said we would chat tomorrow night. He agreed.
The next night arrived and I was waited for him to log on. Ten minutes went by, then twenty, then thirty and so on until an hour had gone by and no sign of Naveen.
I decided to call him but there was no answer.
This time my whole being was telling me that something was wrong and I decided to send him a message. The message went something like this:
Hi Naveen, Have tried contacting you several times but no answer. I'm kind of getting the feeling that you are avoiding me and can't help thinking it's to do with the other night. When we spoke about it, you were very selective in your answers and I am beginning to think that maybe you're ex just wasn't there. If he was, why on earth would you not call the Police, especially if you were as frightened as you say you were?
I clicked on the send tab. It was too late to turn back now.
A few hours later, Naveen was on Gaydar and we ended up chatting, mostly regarding my message. He said he just wanted to forget about it and couldn't understand why I wouldn't let it drop. He went on to say that he had been studying all day and switched his phone off. In the end I agreed to forget about it.
The rest of the chat was basically him saying how much he wanted to get away from his friends house. Once again my alarm bell was ringing but the thought of me seeing him and having his body next to mine again, overcame any negativity that was going around in my head.
The next night, I again tried to contact him and yet again there was no reply.
We had agreed I would call him at 7pm and arrange to meet up again. Two hours later, there was still no response.
This time I was furious and all I could think was that I had been played for a fool.
I went on Gaydar and sent the following message:
Once again I am unable to contact you even when we have agreed a time.
Congratulations. You wanted to play me for a fool. Well you have succeeded.
It is more than obvious that you have no intention of wanting to see me again and that is fine. What would have been nice, was if you had said right from the go that all you wanted was a bit of fun. I am a grown man and too old to put up with silly games like this.
Was I doing the wrong thing, was I reading too much into the last few days? His reply kind of said I was. It went something like this:
Oh my god Dave! I have been at uni all day and forgot my phone.
I don't need all this drama and think that perhaps the best thing to do would be to forget about the whole thing.
As I won't be seeing them again, please give Will and Grace a hug from me.
My first thought was why did I send that message? Was I being over sensitive about the whole thing? My instincts were telling me that I was right. Up to our date, I had been able to contact Naveen at all times. Since the night of the ex, that hadn't been the case.
Had he wanted me to invite him to stay at mine and because I hadn't, he was no longer interested? Did the ex actually turn up?
I haven't seen Naveen in person since that first date. We have spoken on Gaydar a few times and even had a chat with him only a few weeks ago, a bizarre chat but never the less, he called me. He said we should meet up for coffee. The meet has yet to happen.
Out of all the men I have been with, he is most certainly in my top 3 and top 2 in the kissing department.
Would I sleep with him again? You bet I would. This time though, there would be no thoughts of a relationship. It would be just plain old fun.
Until next time, I bid thee farewell.
